I led a workshop a while back and all 16 of the participants filled out a “wheel of life,” a coaching tool that helps people focus on the areas where they feel the most satisfied or dissatisfied in their lives. Everyone was asked to identify their levels of satisfaction in eight different areas. Not surprisingly, many indicated low satisfaction in areas such as money, some talked about their career and relationships being less than ideal, but the thing that struck me the most was how many said they wanted more fun and recreation in their lives. This is a recurring theme that I have experienced lately and it started me thinking –– what is lacking in so many of our daily lives that we no longer have fun? Is there a fun grinch that comes along and steals it away while we’re sleeping?

I don’t have time for fun

Fun when you’re a kid is not something you think about. It just comes naturally. You run, you play, you do as much as you can of whatever you like to do best. What changes as we grow older? The most common explanation I hear from people is that “I don’t have time for fun.” Yes, I know all about the responsibilities we assume, and that they can sometimes be overwhelming, but some people are incredibly busy and still manage to have fun on a regular basis. That’s where the expression “work hard and play hard” probably originated. But time is not the real issue here. What’s at stake is perspective, the idea that fun is something external that we have to go out and get.

Putting the fun back in your life

Depending on what your idea of fun is, that may be true to some extent. If you love to ski, you can’t really do it in your living room. But if you can’t make it up to the slopes you can re-live your memories by looking at photographs or phoning or getting together some of your ski buddies, or by watching a ski movie. If you can’t afford a vacation, throw a theme party around your favourite destination and don’t hold back.

Whatever makes you feel alive is a good definition of what fun is for you, and it doesn’t have to be expensive. When we look back on the best times of our lives, it’s rarely the big events or beach holidays that we remember. It’s small things like spending non-texting time with friends and family, playing board games if that’s your thing or being in nature — it’s the quality of the moment we recall, not how much it cost or what the particulars were. When I think back on some of the most fun I ever had, one of the memories that leaps to mind was a New Year’s Eve that I spent in the company of my mother and a few friends and apart from eating a not-very-good meal at a Greek restaurant, all we did was laugh and laugh and laugh some more. I will never forget it and even just thinking about it makes me smile although nothing much really happened.

Even the busiest person can find time to experience a little joy. What’s the old saying? If you want something done, ask a busy person. Or is it “take time to smell the roses?” My experience is that the most successful people always find a way to have fun. That may be dining out with friends once a week, or walking around the block at lunch, or even just having a laugh with someone over the phone. What’s important is the connection to the place within you that recognizes that what you’re doing and feeling is essential, and not dependent on time, guilt or obligation. Once you are open to the possibilities, fun can be as much a part of your life as anything that you “have” to do.